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#1 Wednesday, July-16-2008 19:35:31, UTC+0000

Scott
Member
Registered: Thursday, June-12-2008
Posts: 28

900 useless words

I was kicking around an idea for another Jenny Everywhere story, and wrote up a prolouge to it before deciding that not only was the setup scene running much too long, it included a character who shouldn't be involved at that point.  So I may rewrite it and I may not.  But just deleting the thing seemed a waste, so anyone who cares to read a first draft story fragment is welcome to any enjoyment they can get out of it.

Somewhat better stories will be along shortly.

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

I was kicking around an idea for another Jenny Everywhere story, and wrote up a prolouge to it before deciding that not only was the setup scene running much too long, it included a character who shouldn't be involved at that point. So I may rewrite it and I may not. But just deleting the thing seemed a waste, so anyone who cares to read a first draft story fragment is welcome to any enjoyment they can get out of it.

Somewhat better stories will be along shortly.

The character of Jenny Everywhere is available for use by anyone, with only one condition. This paragraph must be included in any publication involving Jenny Everywhere, in order that others may use this property as they wish. All rights reversed.

JENNY EVERYWHERE
CAMERA SHY
By Scott Sanford, ? 2008
Draft version 16 July 2008


PROLOUGE: SIX MONTHS AGO
Fiona and I were waiting outside the Vampire King's lair when we heard the fighting begin inside, right on schedule. I hit the detonator and blew open the entranceway. Only an idiot would try breaking in my front door and I wasn't gambling the Vampire King was conveniently stupid. Fiona was up and running before all the rubble hit the ground, yelling and waving her sword.

It was fine with me; I"m neither Irish nor bulletproof, so I"ll let her take point.

By the time I got inside one of the King's revenants was down with Fiona's sword in his ribs. Another was laying around in pieces, farther in. Well, less trouble for me. I jumped over the blood and kept running towards the bedlam.

In the main chamber Fiona and our third friend Kim were slugging it out with the King. Fiona was down on four legs, as I'd guessed, and the Vampire King batted her across the room just as I came in. I didn't worry about her much, since I know she'd be okay, but that left Kim and the Vampire King going at each other with pointed stakes. Normally I'd care about the quality of Kim's knife fighting skills but right then I just needed a clear shot.

"Get clear!", I yelled, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

Fiona charged past me and leapt onto the Vampire King; both went tumbling across the floor and I ran to keep a good angle on the King. With any luck he'd worry about the two obvious threats and ignore the human woman with the shotgun. Kim was well clear and I was just waiting for my chance when the King kicked Fiona off him and he was open.

So I shot him.

The surprise on his face was golden but the kick from the shotgun felt like it was tearing my arm out. I didn't slow down for either of that; I worked the slide and shot him again. And again. And again.

A stake through the heart is traditional, but a hardwood twelve-gauge slug will do the job. It tends to break apart, but the fragmentation only helps as sharp wooden pieces go through at all angles. One of these can really mess up somebody. I kept firing until he fell apart into dust.
I lowered the shotgun and my arm did not actually fall off.

Fiona limped over to me, back on two legs again now, and kicked the dust around a bit.

"That looks like a kill to me, Jenny," Kim said. "Well done."

"Are you two okay?"

"Fock, ye shot me!" Fiona's Irish; she really does talk like that.

"Wood isn't your weakness, silver is. You should be okay soon."

"It still fockin hurts! Ye got me leg wi" yer damn cannon!"

"Franchi SPAS-12 combat shotgun," Kim elaborated.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I knew you could take it and Kim couldn't." I rubbed my arm, which still wasn't recovered, and said, "Next time, one of you can use the shotgun, okay?"

"I suggest you unfold and use the stock."

"Right." No kidding, Kim.

"But it worked. This Vampire King is gone, and good riddance."

"Nae, it's not over yet. There's another one here. I smelled it before."

"Oh, great." I checked the shotgun. Four slugs left. Please don't jump us now"

"Do you know where?"

"Oh, aye. It's a young one, it still smells warm."

I reloaded and we followed Fiona - who was walking fine now, she'd just caught a splinter - down to a locked door. A metal door, with a padlock and saps on the outside; the Vampire King had done everything but put up a sign saying 'dungeon."

"Can ye shoot the lock off or something?"

"Give me a minute and I"ll try picking the lock. It looks pretty cheap."
Kim tapped on the door lightly and said, "Or we could just kick it down."

"That?"

She grinned at me confidently, so I shrugged and stepped back to give her room.
It took more than one kick but the door started caving in pretty quickly, and that let Kim get her hands under the edge and bend it up in to an interesting shape before she ripped the whole thing out of the wall and threw it across the room. Sometimes I forget how scarily strong she really is. Anyway, the door was very definitely open now.

The occupant of the cell was unconscious - no surprise there, we'd been making enough noise to alert vampires in other time zones - and chained to the wall. Even I could smell the blood.

"The Vampire King really didn't like this guy, huh?"

"Vampires make spawn for all kinds of reasons," Kim said. 'this wasn't one of the nice ones."

"Aye, ye c'd say that."

"Jenny, would you go in and check him" I really don't want to go in there."

"Uh, sure." I wasn't crazy about that, but blood is a bigger deal for some of us than for others. He wasn't moving but I led with the shotgun anyway until I was close enough to see his face.

"Hey, I know this guy."

"What?"

"This guy's Ulysses something, he's a musician wannabe in one of the local garage bands." I lowered the shotgun and looked out at the others.

"Kim" I think this is going to be your problem."

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#2 Wednesday, July-16-2008 19:40:01, UTC+0000

Scott
Member
Registered: Thursday, June-12-2008
Posts: 28

Re: 900 useless words

No, I don't know why quotation marks showed up as question marks; the preview didn't show that.

As for why the posting was done twice, that's because the Forum burped up an error when I tried posting but didn't tell me the post had happened; I hit 'submit' twice.  The message 'Unable to fetch search index words.' was of limited help.  On the other hand, who would have expected someone to post 23k of text on the forum?

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#3 Thursday, July-17-2008 07:27:59, UTC+0000

Fesworks
Administrator
From: Minnesota
Registered: Sunday, October-08-2006
Posts: 294
Website

Re: 900 useless words

This is PHP, so sometimes certain characters turn into question marks hmm

I don't see why though.... Then again, this is a very BASIC message board, so maybe it's not that smart tongue

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#4 Thursday, July-17-2008 09:07:50, UTC+0000

Scott
Member
Registered: Thursday, June-12-2008
Posts: 28

Re: 900 useless words

Well, whatever.  If it really bugs someone, they can do a search & replace, I suppose.

Thanks for deleting the duplicate post.

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#5 Thursday, July-17-2008 23:30:40, UTC+0000

Fesworks
Administrator
From: Minnesota
Registered: Sunday, October-08-2006
Posts: 294
Website

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#6 Thursday, July-17-2008 23:52:45, UTC+0000

Scott
Member
Registered: Thursday, June-12-2008
Posts: 28

Re: 900 useless words

Hey, that is better!  Thanks; it's much easier to read now.

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